Sorrowful Soul
by Yukishiro Madoka
Summary: Kikyo is but a life with no soul. Her soul is empty, sad, and lifeless. Kikyo will never, and should never learn how to love. How can you teach someone to love if they refuse to learn?


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha! Otherwise, Ayame and Koga/Kikyo and Sesshomaru would be together! xD

A/N. Phwee...o.o Another lame modern-time fic made by me! xP -eyes light up- Hey...that rhymes! xD

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Kikyo Misaki sat alone in the corner of the table, her long, dark bangs creating a shadow over her eyes. Alone. That was how she felt. She had always disregarded and spent her life in isolation ever since she was a young girl. Her heart, lifeless and empty and dark, took in so much pain with every throb. She was like a lone wolf, considered an outcast among its tribe. To all of those around her, her tormented life meant nothing. This hurt her the most, knowing no one cared about her. She considered her life to be a cycle of agnst and pain. But as much as she hated her life, being in extreme pain and loneliness, she considered them her "drugs" and she loved them. To her, they were always there for her, her only comfort.

Students chattered endlessly in the cafeteria, much to Kikyo's annoyance, especially the fit of giggling and gossiping from the group of girls from the table behind her. "Hey, you heard about the new guy? He's a real hottie!" a high-pitched voice squealed, recieving giggling from her friends as a response. Unsurprisingly, Kikyo instantly recongnized that voice. Kagome Higurashi.

Kagome Higurashi was a bubbly, happy girl, surrounded by friends and boys who worshipped the ground she walked on. Kikyo disliked Kagome for a great many number of reasons. Well, for one, Kagome always insulted or taunted people who weren't considered her friends or fans, but Kikyo didn't really care when Kagome taunted her. Her insults were actually pathetic anyway. And Kagome always wore tons of make-up and perfume, and she spoke in an extremely high-pitched voice. Ugh. Plus, Kagome always flirted with many boys, and they almost always had to be off-limits. Kikyo had heard some people comparing them, and saying how much they looked alike. Kikyo felt angered that she had to be compared to Kagome, even if it was about their appearances. Kikyo's dark hair cascaded gracefully past her waist, the ends of her hair and bangs plain and straight, but still managed to seem beautiful. Kagome's hair, on the other hand, extended down only past her shoulders, and the ends of her hair and bangs were puffy and pointy. Kagome's eyes were the color of milk chocolate, and were always filled with sparkling joy and happiness. Kikyo personally felt that her eyes were too huge for her face. Unlike Kagome, Kikyo's eyes were narrow and hazel, and were lifeless and empty, and staring into them felt like staring into a dark, empty void. Kagome's skin was the color of peaches, while Kikyo's skin was as pale as a bright moon in the night sky. Kikyo could not understand how they seemed similiar in any way.

Part of her wanted to hate Kagome. Kagome had many friends and other people who loved her and always filled her heart with happiness. Kikyo was disregarded, and every passing day made her heart seem more distant and depressed. To Kikyo, it felt as if Kagome were a happy spirit, surrounded by other blissful souls, soaring in the heavens while Kikyo wallowed in her despair, loneliness, sadness, and agony in the Underworld. It was as if Kikyo were a dead spirit, simply walking upon the land of the living for no purpose. _What is my soul wishing for...? _Kikyo thought wistfully, her heart aching with sadness. An empty void gnawed at her heart. What was missing? Understanding? Care? Attention? Wealth? Or perhaps...love?

Nonsense. Only the foolish dared to desire for what they could never have. She considered herself dead but still breathing. She had nothing to live for. She sometimes played at the thought of commiting suicide to end her pain. But as the blade of the knife bit gently into her neck, a deep fear would run though her and she would quickly drop the knife, hearing the intense noise of the knife as it struck the ground and her own heart thudding loudly. Why did she fear death? Death could easily end her pain, her loneliness, her sorrow. But...

"Oh my gosh! He's looking this way! He might even come over here!" Kagome squeaked with excitement, earning giggles and squeals of delight from her friends. Kagome instantly whipped out her mirror, make-up kit, and perfume. She applied pink eyeshadow upon her eyelids, and dark pink blush over her cheeks. Then she started spraying loads of perfume over herself, all the while gazing into the mirror, as if musing over about how beautiful she was. Unfortunately, Kikyo was sitting right behind her, and the strong perfume entered her nostrils. Kikyo's stomach lurched, and a strong urge to puke overcame her. _How can she stand that stuff! _

Kikyo tried holding her breath while eating her lunch hurriedly, but her lungs begged her desperately for air. Finally, she let out a feeble gasp, taking in air, yet taking in the strong perfume as well. It entered her nostrils once and more, and her mouth as well! The taste was even worse than the scent! The taste and scent altogether sent her lunch flying up her throat, but Kikyo swallowed it back down, but her lunch threatened to escape. Kikyo finally rose and quickly dumped her half-eaten food into a trash can and rushed away. _Man...I'd really feel sorry for the new guy if he came over to that table..._

There were very few people outside, which was great news, since Kikyo prefered dead silence over perky laughter and pointless gossip. Kikyo spied a long, green bench that was under a shady tree, and its thin branches were filled with cherry blossoms. She headed over to the bench and silently brushed off the cherry blossoms that had fallen off the branches onto it. She set her backpack beside the bench and sat down. Then Kikyo reached into her backpack and withdrew a book, and since she had nothing better to do, she began to do what she liked to do when she felt depressed, upset, or simply bored. Read. She had read about a few chapters when she felt a pair of eyes staring at her. Her eyes traveled away from her book and back into reality, glancing around for the unknown presence. Her eyes narrowed. Naraku.

He smirked vigurously. She went back to reading her book, ignoring him and hoping he'd just go away and leave her alone. Everyday, he'd attempt to make small talk with her, which she suspected that his intentions were to annoy her. Even if she tried to avoid him, he'd always find her sometime in the day. Long, wavy, dark hair, which somehow seemed similar to Kagome's hair, cascaded down to his waist, and his brown orbs skimmed her carefully with a hungry glint in his eyes.

"Hello, Kikyo..." Naraku slurred with his famous smirk still pasted upon his face. His voice sent shivers down Kikyo's spine, but she tried to act as if he weren't intimidating or annoying. Kikyo's eyes were absorbed with the words on the pages, and reality slowly drifted away from her mind, leaving her mind to be occupied with thoughts of the book. Kikyo felt Naraku seat himself unusually close to her, and shivers came down her spine once more. She moved closer to the edge of the bench, much to Naraku's amusement.

"You're looking as fine as ever, Kikyo..." Naraku commented. Kikyo didn't respond. He often made remarks like that, but Kikyo suspected he only said those things to annoy her even more. She was glad that Kagome wasn't here, since the tiniest thing would inspire Kagome to make an insult. If she were here, she'd probably say something about Naraku being her boyfriend, or any other stupid taunts that came to her mind.

"What is it that you want, Naraku?" Kikyo said coldly, finally tearing her eyes away from her book to glare at him. "Everyday you come to make small, pointless talk with me, but you rarely recieve a response. Yet you still continue to talk to me. What is it that you want? Are your intentions to annoy me?"

"You're accusing me of wishing to annoy you?" Naraku repeated, pretending to be hurt and offended. "You have it all wrong, Kikyo...I only wish..." - he slided closer to Kikyo - "to get to know you a bit..." Kikyo shivered. She hated how the way he said her name, as if he were speaking of his beloved. She didn't want to think of anything that related to her having a relationship with anyone, especially _Naraku _of all boys. Kikyo moved to the edge of the bench, the farthest she could go, but Naraku merely followed her direction. He was so close to her that Kikyo could actually feel his body heat. Naraku smirked, seeing Kikyo slightly cringe and shiver.

"Naraku, why don't you just go away and leave me alone?" Kikyo said bitterly, gritting her teeth. Naraku didn't respond. Kikyo finally decided that if she simply ignored him, he would leave her alone. If she got up and left, it would prove to him that he had the ability to make her feel nervous and irritated. So she continued to read her book with an uneasy pit in her stomach at the feeling of Naraku being so close to her.

"Reading a book, I see..." Naraku finally spoke.

"Yeah. It's said that reading takes your mind off things...And I'm trying to take my mind of thoughts of a certain someone who is extremely annoying..." Kikyo replied coldly.

"Your thoughts are actually filled of me?" Naraku said with amusement, raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah," Kikyo answered sarcastically, rising to her feet. "Thoughts of how pathetic and irritating you are." And with that, she grabbed her black backpack and stormed away. Naraku smirked as he skimmed every portion of her body until she disappeared from sight. She had no idea...

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Art class. Joyous...

Personally, Kikyo enjoyed art class more than the others. In art, she could express her feelings in paint and color. She didn't know how to tell people she hurt inside, so she showed her thoughts and feelings in art. Plus, art class was quiet and serene, since people worked carefully on their art.

"Good afternoon, class. Today's assignment will be to paint a heart," Miss Aiko announced, staring over at her students through her thick glasses. "Paint what you think your heart feels like. Pink could be for happiness. Or red could be for boldness. Express your heart's feelings through this painting. You may create a background for your image." She said no more, and sat down at her desk, adjusting her glasses.

Everyone scrambled to the arts table to retrieve paint and paintbrushes. Kikyo waited until everyone cleared until she went up to squeeze blue and black paint onto her paper plate. She went back to her desk and immediately began to paint, purposely tilting her head down so her bangs covered her eyes. Shades of blue and black formed her heart...Blue for sadness...Black for the lack of life...Both colors formed a heart within the body of a tormented soul.

After she finished painting her heart and her background, which she painted a slightly dark shade of grey, she glanced around. Hearts of different sizes and colors met her eyes. Mostly pink, yellow, and red. Some backgrounds were filled with hearts of small sizes, while others were filled with bright blue clouds and beautiful orange sunrises, the sun gleaming brightly as it peeked over the horizon. All of the paintings were positive, uprising, bright...Unlike hers. She sighed inwardly, and gazed glumly at her painting.

"Blue and black?" a voice spoke surprisingly. She glanced at the speaker from the corner of her eye. Inuyasha. The new guy who every girl adored. Literally, all of his female admirers slid to the ground every time he walked by. His dark hair, similar to Kagome's, cascaded past his shoulders to his waist, and his orbs were the color of dark chocolate. He wore a black leather jacket that extended to his hips, a white T-shirt, and dark blue pants. He was half-way done with his painting, which was a bright shade of red. He cocked his head at her.

"Are you using those colors because there're no other paints left or something?" he inquired.

"No..." Kikyo answered coldly. "This heart is the color of what it is, because it's the color of my heart..." He stared at her painting again. Veins, blue and black, popped out slightly from the painting of her heart, which was mostly black, but some shades of blue covered her heart as well. The heart lacked the vibrant, bright colors that the others used. It was dark, empty, lifeless. Her dark painting stood out from all of the other bright paintings. His gaze turned back to the young maiden, who stared gloomily at her painting. Her eyes were lifeless and empty and sad, as if a magical force had created a barrier to keep people from seeing past through the exterior, deeper into her eyes. What could have caused this mysterious girl to feel so depressed and dark?

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A/N. I really suck at writing modern-time stories and writing their summaries, so please don't kill me for that! x.x R&R please, and tell me what you think! 


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